Uh oh...we're in trouble

*Torture room 10 minutes later*

*Stares straight ahead thereby avoiding eye contact with my ‘friends’. An act which is mirrored by them as well. For different reasons. Eventually the ‘dean of students’ tires of the ‘mime act’ and clears her throat thereby starting the ‘meeting’*
Principal: Okay….what am I looking at here? Who started this fight?
Tina: *Sitting there with her head lowered to hide her tears and her shame* *Quietly from her* I did….and I doubt you want to hear why as it might send Lizzie into more random acts of violence.
Principal: Oh but I insist on hearing it Ms. Vargas. Why do you believe you started this fight when its obvious that it was clearly Elizabeth’s fault?
Tina: Well in a way….it is my fault.
Yeah….the ***** had sex with my boyfriend!
Principal: Elizabeth. Brooke. MCGUIRE. I am in charge of this school and all its students. Not YOU. As such you will not call someone a ***** for something that obviously happened off campus.

*Clams up and sits back fuming silently*

Principal: *Turning back to Tina* Now then Ms. Vargas. Do you have any proof of what you are telling me?
Tina: *Raising her head* Yeah. Afraid I do. I went to a free clinic 3 days ago and they did the test that tells if a gal is in a ‘family way’. They called me on my cell when I was in homeroom,and I was allowed to go out in the hall and take the call. While I'm not pregnant. What I stand accused of did indeed happen at the Halloween party end of last month.
*Mutters* Yeah and you tried to use my BOYFRIEND as a sperm dispenser!
Principal: Alright I have heard enough from you Elizabeth. Go out into the hall NOW!
*Flips her off*

Principal: *To me* You’re suspended. Starting Monday. And I am calling your parents. Yours as well Tina.

Tina: *Eyes wide from fear* No! Don’t call my dad!
Principal: I am afraid that I will have to in this case,given the circumstances,this event warrants more than a good talking to from the principal.
Tina: *Lowering her head again* ~I’m so past dead it isn’t funny~ Okay….

*Smirking* Serves ya right….
Tina: *Raising her head anew and looking right at me her eyes aflame* Get a life you half empty Dixie Cup! The world doesn’t revolve around you!
*Snarls* At least I don’t have a mother who was a total raving lunatic when she wasn’t on her medication!
Tina: *After standing and hauling me to my feet by my hair* If you EVER talk about my birth mother in that way again I will pull your hair out strand by strand! NOW SHUT UP! Then go tap dance up the onramp of the local interstate out of town!

*Wincing in pain before spitting in her face* Screw you! Not gonna happen!
Miranda: *Jumping up to wedge herself between us* Stop it! Both of you!
Tina/Me: NO! She started it!
Principal: And I am ending it. NOW. Tina you are free to stay in the office until your parent [s] can get here to take you home. Same applies to you Ms. McGuire. When your parents arrive to escort you ladies home I don’t want to see either of your faces until after the holiday next Thursday. Understood?!?
Me/Tina: Yeah.
Principal: And as for you Miranda….you can go back to class. Stop off and get a note from my secretary.
Miranda: Thanks. *before leaving she glares at me as she walks by and then mimes ‘call me later’ to both of us on her way out the door*

*After school at home*

My mom: ELIZABETH BROOKE MCGUIRE! You are so lucky we don’t send you AWAY or wash your mouth out with laundry soap for what you said to Tina! You know how bad off she has had her life compared to yours!
*Sighs* So what? Gordo cheated on me then demanded I DO the same as what he got from her! *Soon as I said that I wish I came with an automatic ‘rewind button’*
My dad: YOU ARE NOT HAVING SEX WITH YOUR TEEN…oh man….why is the room starting to spin? *at that he starts to crumple towards the floor*

Dad? MOM! What’s wrong with dad?!?
My mom: LIZZIE! Go and call 911! NOW! I think he’s in trouble! *her words send me running for the phone in the kitchen. After dialing the number I don‘t bother to compose myself*

911 Operator: What is the problem?
Hello! Yes….there is a problem! My dad started to yell at me and then said the room was spinning!
911 Operator: Calm down miss. Then slowly tell me your full name and address and what the problem might be.

*Takes a deep breath* Okay. My name is Lizzie McGuire. I live at 16250 Iceberry Lane. I think my dad is having a heart attack because I accidentally told him I was thinking of having sex with my teenage boyfriend!
911 Operator: Okay Lizzie. Thank you. The ambulance should be on its way to your house in the next….3 minutes. They have the call and are now going out to the vehicle. Best thing for you to do is to go and try to calm down further and help your mom watch for the paramedics.

Thank you. Um….what else should I do?
911 Operator: That’s it Lizzie. Oh and make sure your dad doesn’t move or anything.

*Later at the hospital*

My mom: Honey….even though you are going to be grounded when I get you home….tell me honestly now….while we are here….is any of what we discussed on the way home the truth?
*Starting to cry because of both events* Mommy….its all true! Miranda told me that Kate and Ethan were at the party and during the 20 minutes that Tina and Gordo were absent….Ethan and Kate were in her line of sight the whole time!

Then Tina told me this morning that she went to the free clinic on Blackberry street 3 days ago and they called her cell phone yesterday to confirm that the test was negative. Which means that even though she isn't pregnant...Gordo wanted me to be part of his ‘harem’!
My mom: Oh Lizzie….baby….I don’t know what to tell you. When we get home….do you want to get rid of the lingerie we bought?

*Shaking my tear stained head&the face attached to it* No momma….I want to keep them and I still want to be ‘in bed’ with Gordo next weekend.
My mom: NO! You can’t! I won’t let you and your father will agree with me! He already has! I suspect that Gordo may have raped Tina and if he did that to her….he might do it to you! He was also clearly not ‘acting of his own accord’ when he helped her deal with what had happened to her!

*Blinks* You mean he was high on something?

Mom: He might have been. And he might not have known about it. Was there anyone at the party you didn’t know?
*Shakes my head* Other than Amy….that cousin of Kate….no. Wait….there was someone else there. Some friend of Amy’s. He looked kinda ’unkempt’ is what I could describe him as being.
Mom: Well there you go. There was something at the party that didn’t need to be there and no one stopped him until it was too late.

[Toon Lizzie] Well I wanted to stop him….but the rat in his pocket kinda scared me….[fade] Oh. So that means that I owe 2 people an apology? Gordo and Tina?
Mom: Yes I guess you do sweetie. Do you want to call one of them now?
I think I will wait until I get home. Hopefully by then Tina will be ‘out of danger’.